Jokes

Paris

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
“You have been to France before, monsieur?” the customs officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
“Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.”
The Canadian said, “The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.”
“Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!”
The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, “Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find any Frenchmen to show it to.”

——

The Duck

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked what he was doing.
The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer responded, “This is my property and you’re not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you for everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently you don’t know how we settle things in Tennessee.” We settle small disagreements like this with the “three kick rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the three kick rule?” The farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on back and forth
until someone gives up.”
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to bide by the local custom.
The farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his
mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to the rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pile.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “OK, now it’s my turn.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”

Lawsuits and the lot

http://www.1up.com/do/feature?cId=3146206&did=1

This is a good article on games and lawsuits related to them. In addition to that I would like to say that when Mortal Kombat 2 was released, there was an attempt to ban it due to its ‘violent’ content. What about the ‘violent’ content that is shown on TV? What about the case where REAL people are killed by American soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq? Oh right its for the oil right.

How about real ppl being killed as a result of the gas leak Bhopal due to negligent Union Carbide (Dow chemicals)

Firefox and flash plugin hate each other?

Well I think my firefox Deer Park (1.5) on Debian argues a lot with flash plugin if it is installed. Basically the browser hangs if I ever open a flash website. So this is what I did – ~/.mozilla/plugins/

removed all flash related stuff .so and .xpt from this directory and well I am a happy man to an extent.

I did not have problem using flash plugins with the prior version of firefox 1.0.7 Guess upgrades are not always good.

Do you want a dog as your pet

What is the standard way of getting yourself a pet? I like dogs a lot so lets talk about dogs. You go to a breeder, get yourself a dog(puppy) and then go about training it etc;

Have you ever thought about how these breeders work? Generally a pedigree puppy would cost you around 3000 INR . There are cases where it went upto a lakh INR but those are show dogs/puppies.

However think about the case where you will get yourself a puppy and it dies quite early. Besides the fact that it is a huge emotional hit to the family, it could also be because the breeder was greedy. Yes, most of the breeders OVERBREED using the dam. The accepted norm is to have the dam breed once an year and that too for some 4 or 5 generations (I might be wrong here but its of that order). However these greedy breeders will make a puppy generation factory out of the dam. Why is that so? These breeders have no respect for nature and no love for the dog. Its a business for them.

Good breeders:

German Shepherd Dog (GSD) for example was bred to be a farm land and herding dog. So the people who breed these dogs breed it so that the traits of the sire and the dam are preserved. They keep the best puppies and give out the rest. This breeding happens for sometime. This is possibly the best way to ensure that the dog and the successive generations have good bloodlines.

In some cases the puppy is sold to you because of bad bloodlines. I heard of cases where some breeder sold a puppy saying that it was GSD but once the dog was around 1 yr old it turned out to be some kind of cross breed or a GSD lookalike. However this does NOT mean that breeders are bad. Its just that its too sad if you end up with a bad breeder.
Ok now that we have the background, if you want a dog consider this – do not breed, buy an adult dog or adopt a homeless one.
Adopting a St Bernard in India might be horrible decision – St Bernards are NOT for hot weather. Think about a street dog. They have been naturally bred (natural selection). This makes them rugged and resistent to indian weather and the diseases. However if you still have a strong liking to the breed dogs, try adopting one from animal shelter (applies to anyone anywhere in the world).

In Hyderabad consider the Blue Cross of hyd (http://www.bluecrosshyd.org/). It is a fine place to find some of the best dogs. I have personally worked with atleast 4 breed dogs that were in fine shape and excellent temparment. Generally the dogs that are out for adoption at blue cross are those that have been abandoned because the owner cannot afford to feed them anymore, they are getting married and the spouse hates dogs, they are shifting to an apartment where dogs are not allowed and reasons like that. If you do not like the dogs that you see in the compound just leave your address/phone number with the shelter director and you will be contacted when your choice of dog comes in.
IF you like puppies blue cross has them too. I used to observe the puppies, play with them and analyze the attitude and personality of the puppies. So I have a fair idea that the puppy that you like would definitely be available at blue cross.
Cats:

Well I am not the ‘cat’ lover but blue cross regularly gets some kittens. I never handled these kittens so I cannot say anymore than this.